Thursday, January 13, 2011

Untruths #1

Set in my ways....

At what point in your life do you say...."I'm set in my ways"?

Truth is if everyone reflected on their life they would realize that it is probably completely different from everyone else's response. The point is we are not pre-set to become ridgid in thinking at a certain time in our lives.  And since there is no button that gets pushed that says okay...I'm done reviewing need to reconsider anymore, that means that we don't have to be set in our ways at all.
Now let me tell you a little bit about how I define being "set in your ways".  It is a person who has beliefs, a way of doing a task, reactions to people or events, that for the most part remain the same no matter what knew knowledge is gained.  For example, (for those of you who know me you will probably roll your eyes at this and say here she goes again) decades ago the health risks of smoking were becoming well known. And people said, well I've already smoked for ten years so why should I stop now. Now I'm not talking about the addiction factor in this equation.  I'm talking about the type of person who says out loud to others, "what difference will it make? I've already smoked for 10 years." When what they are actually thinking is, it will be work to try and quit, it will disrupt the way my life it set...and if I change my mind on this maybe I will change my mind about other things as well.  And that is scary! 
Lets try another example.  Parents who both work full time jobs and have pretty busy lives and also have two children.  It is so very easy and convenient to stop by a fast food place on the way home every night, or even every other night to pick up dinner.  It has become a set routine for them, maybe once in a while they think about how unhealthy their eating habits are, but for the most part it never crosses their minds, it's just what they do.  They are set in the way the eat.  Then a program about obesity in America comes on the television and takes about the issues that children can have from eating too much fast food.  The parents already know that the food is bad, but there is a habit set, and it would take too much for them to change their ways.  Again it would be work, and a lot of it, do they want more work?  But do they want to stay stagnent in their way either? How much healthier would they be? How much more energy to do more things would they have?
Now these are the type of examples that happen everyday all around the world, some with different subjects and some with the same. 
Then there are others, ones that have even farther reaching consequences.  Just a few of these are racism, sexism, greed, and oppression.  People with completely distorted believes about a group of people can change their beliefs and become what most call as "reformed" with a lot of work.  When I say work I mean self work. 
So what is my point in all of this?  It's this the "ways" that I have talked about are large issues, and not everybody has those, but everyone has the little ones.  It may be that you scream at any slow driver on the road every chance you get! You just don't understand how they could give any dumby a drivers license.  Is that helping anyone? Your blood pressure just went through the roof and as you are looking so hard into the car you are now passing you almost brake too late for a car that is slowing down to turn.  You hate your commute to work because of all the bad drivers out there! Yet everyday you choose to react the same way, you choose to be set in your ways.  Just think of all the things you are missing on your daily commute everyday, maybe instead of fuming at the slow driver when you pull up to a light, you missed a family waiting to cross the street with a little girl that was waving her hand off.  So what right?  But think about it, if a cute little girl waves to you, even if you don't wave back, it's going to make you smile...and we all know what a smile can can change the world.  Maybe you missed the new billboard advertising your husbands favorite band coming to town, and by the time you hear in on the radio...well...the tickets are sold out.  Will it be hard to have patience with the "bad" drivers...will it take a while to change your response to them...YES! It will be hard work! But anything worth while in life takes hard work to accomplish.

So this is what I am going to be doing to try and help myself to stay flexible and not be so set in my ways.  I'm going to respond to things positively, when I feel myself thinking bad about another, or feeling bad about myself, I'm going to find something positive.  Normally something negative can change my mood for the whole day, sometimes week, but not anymore.  I'm going to focus on the positive.  Sound corny doesn't it, well, that's okay, because it works. Don't knock it until you try it, and if you do, you will see a huge change in your life.  Negative things happen to everyone, that's life, but those that respond in a positive way have so many more opportunities that open up to them simply because their energy wasn't being used up by hiding or hating. 
And I'm not going to let new information or technology just go by the wayside because I am used to thinking or believing a certain way about something.  I agree to evolve with knowledge!  I agree to review my beliefs from time to time and re-examine my life.  I will not become stagnant!

Untruth-You can't change because you are set in your ways
Truth- Anyone can change. All you have to do is make the change!

I love feedback leave me a post of send me a message about how you are going to not allow yourself to become too set in your ways.


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